AN AMERICAN BLACK ORDER
by embren
Summary: You all know the story in D.GrayMan in the Black order in England, but what about NYC?
1. America the insane!

HELLLLOOOO everybody the names Embrenn and I'm here to show you my incredibly weird story mwahahahahahahaha!! ... O.O ignore me just read the disclaimer!

Disclaimer, everybody hide... (Takes gun) I said run bitches!

Disclaimer- I do not own D.Gray-Man if I did I would have made it as a crack random comedy as this fanatic of mine.

Hope you all enjoy -

Remember: flames will be used to roast marshmallows to who ever likes my story! (and fuel my machine to take over the world!).

* * *

the American Black order, located in the Big Apple aka NYC where Broadway shows roam the city with big lights, skyscrapers and hobos! it is to be in the Black order here in the city that it is secretly hidden in the Empire State Building! (which is not as scary as the black order in England!) yes just your typical day here in the city. Many people call the American black Order interesting... 

"HEAD OFFICER WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PARTICLE ACCELERATOR?!"

"SHUT UP! I'M USING IT TO MAKE THE HAMSTER SPEAK GERMAN!"

or completely insane.

Yes this true. This black order is indeed insane run by head officer Sakura Kawasaki and her husband Jack Kawasaki who is the vice officer. They also have a daughter who is an Exorcist named Alice Kawasaki. Her innocence is her hands that can turn into dark matter and destroy akuma by a mere touch. Alice though is how should I say this... well, shes got her mothers crazy hyperactivness genes but has her fathers seriousness when it comes to important matters, she is very innocent but is also mischievous as a five year old, but what is her own is her big wide smile that just says I'm-so-cute-but-I-don't-realize-it look, and her "this is my-kill-you-till-you-die-and-rot-in-the-pits-of-hell look.

yes she is indeed scary none the least.

"Behold now Chobo the hamster can speak German! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" screamed the head officer with the lightning in the back round. Mr.Brown turned off the lightning switch and walked off. Head officer Sakura turned around to see if her experiment worked.

"Konichiwa" unfortunately fates cruel. (yes fear the power of the autherness! cower mortals! -the doctors came back with a bigger needle- ahh their after me again!)

"holy crap did that hamster just speak Japanese?!" asked Vice officer Jack.

"wwwwwwaaaaaaaa I wanted it to speak German!!! my experiment failed!!" sobbed the head officer, Jack sweat droped.

"At least you got it **to** speak a language honey" said Jack to try and calm down his wife. Just as that happened someone fell out of the vents!

CRASH!!! then there was dust and a figure on the ground.

"cough, cough ew... dad you gotta tell those janitors to clean these vents there filthy!" said Alice as she got up to brush the dust off.

"Alice what have I told you about climbing the vents?!" screamed her father,

"feh let her do it, when I was her age I climbed the elevator shaft" said Sakura as she got her gear ready for another experiment.

"really?! ooh ooh can I try? please?" asked Alice with a gleam in her eye.

"you bet you can" said her mother while giving her a thumbs up.

"your her parent for gods sake be more assertive!" screamed Jack.

"oh fine" Sakura walked up to Alice "Alice... I don't want you to go in the elevator shaft..." she began, Jack could't believe his ears was he letting him win the argue-

"not without a helmet" she finished. Jack fell over anime style.

"OK you got it chief!" said Alice giving her the peace sign. He knew it was to good to be true...

"Jack make me Coffee" said Sakura as she was about to shoot the hamster again.

"Che, make it yourself" said Jack as he was about to go to his paper work, Sakura blinked.

" OMG SHE BLINKED SHES GONNA BLOW!!" screamed Mr. Brown as he ducked under his desk.

"QUICK TO THE SHELTER!!!!" screamed another one the employees. Alice dived into the laundry shoot cause she was hungry and did not want to deal with her parents anyway, not when her mom...

"WWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WORK WITHOUT COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the head officer. Sakura screamed so load that it shook the building, broke seven windows along with Mr. Browns glasses, sixty five glasses of water, and Koumi back at England could have sworn he heard something.

-break-

"did you hear that?" asked Komui

"hear what?" asked Johnny

"GET BACK TO WORK!" screamed Riba

-break-

Alice was falling down faster and faster down the elevator shaft all the way to the first floor of the Empire State Building. I mean she **IS** super human, going down a couple thousand stories did't hurt her. Finally another loud crash was heard at the lobby causing everyone to gasp. But Alice came out looking as fine as ever. The people calmed down realizing it was Alice the whole time and went back to their stations. Alice went walking to the desk and stopped.

"morning Sal! any mail for us today?" asked Alice. It was always Alice's job to get the mail for everyone and Sal was the delivery man. He was an old man and could't climb all those stairs to the building so Alice did it for him.

"Ah, good morning to you miss Alice, right on time I see, you keep better track of time then the white rabbit" said Sal laughing heartily. Sal was also like a grandfather twords Alice, and he always made small jokes to her cause her name was the same as the girl in Alice in wonder land. (gee ain't that a shocker)

"Thank you Mad Hatter, but do We have any mail today?" asked Alice

"Why no my dear its Sunday, you never get mail on a Sunday" said Sal while arranging some of the flowers to make it more appealing.

"OH! thats right its Sunday which means I got to head to town!" said Alice. Alice ran across the hallway,

"Thanks Sal I owe you one!" said Alice while running.

"Any time dear!" screamed back Sal. Alice got her Exorcist Uniform and jumped all the way to the top to meet up with her best Friend Serena. Serena was the quoted the most scary exorcist who ever walked in NYC. But she always showed her heart to Alice.

"Hey Serena, see any Akuma around?" asked Alice as she used her hands. Alice's hand was made out of dark matter like the Akumas so she can detect them easily if her hand points to them.

"No not any so far, its been quiet for a while" said Serena Cooley as she gripped her Katakana. Her innocence is a Katakana sword and its deadly. Her innocence always craved for Akuma and its piousness blood. Its a pretty scary innocence. (yeah, who ever heard of a blood thirsty sword?)

"I see, remind me when our shifts over?"

"ten o' clock we have another thirty minuets, did you bring anything to eat? I'm starved"

Alice dove into her pouch for a bag and had some rice balls ready. Alice was pretty good at cooking.

"Knock your self out" said Alice as Serena scarfed one down in three bites.

"Thanks" said Serena. Alice looked out at the city in awe, no wonder why people say its a magical city.

"Hey, wake up bean-sprout" said Serena smirking, Alice pouted.

"Stupidiot, quit calling me that" said Alice

"you know thats never gonna happen" said Serena smiling now. Just then there was a click sound and Serena's smile turned back into a scowl knowing very well who took that photo.

"**WOW** I think I just got a piece of history here, you actually smiled!" Said none other then over dramatic Tauron! (behold the third person in the mighty three some!)

"Oh hey Tauron, what's up?" asked Alice smiling cutely. Tauron took another picture.

"Score! this is going into my "Alice's cute moments book" and this is going into my "things that Serena never do!" book! happy day for me" Tauron went into lala land and Serena drew her katakana out.

"I'm gonna cut you and that damn camera in two!" screamed Serena already a vein popping out.

"Aw come one Serena I was only trying to immortalize the moment, is that so wrong?" asked Tauron as he backed away from the blade of doom.

"depends" says Serena, "Is killing an idiot like you wrong?" she asked sarcastically, Tauron gulped.

"ehehehehe ALICE HELP ME! SERENA IS GONNA KILL ME THIS TIME FOR REAL!!! HELP!!!" sobbed the pleading Exorcist. Oh yeah... Tauron is an exorcist to. His shadow can multiply and turn into dark matter people and destroy akuma. (They're like ghosts but worst!)

"No thanks, I like my head where it is" said Alice as she took another bite off of her rice ball.

"you gotta be kidding me?!" screamed Tauron. Alice then giggled sweetly.

"I was only joking I'll help you" said Alice

"Your an angel" said Tauron with anime tears of joy. Alice then jumped and grabbed hold of his arm and jumped into the laundry shoot.

"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" said Alice as she began to fall again.

"Didn't see this coming!" said Tauron while falling with Alice. Serena jumped into the shoot to.

"Oh no you don't, get back here you coward!!!" screamed the angry Exorcist.

-break-

The science department was working like dogs through hundreds of pounds of paper work.

"You think we'll ever be done?" asked Jimmy as he was working on an equation.

" don't give up, we'll make it... I think" said Vice officer Jack while reading an akuma report. The science department suddenly stopped working by the sound of a distant screaming and then-

BOOM!! CRASH!!!!!!

Out of the cloud of smoke was Alice holding on to Tauron's arm running, but from what? their was another crash and from the smoke came Serena with her Katakana out and following them with death pursuit. Jack smacked his hand against his head.

"Oh brother" he said

"Thats my little angel" said Sakura with anime tears of proudness in her. "wrecking havoc like that reminds me of myself don't you agree?" asked the head officer.

"Thats what I'm afraid of" said Jack.

-Break-

"I'M THE FLUFF QUEEN HERE ME ROAR!!!!" screamed Alice as both Tauron and her were running away from the over annoyed Serena.

"Um..." Tauron sweatdroped "whats that got to do with anything?"

"NOTHING! I was just bored thats why" said Alice giggling

Tauron then noticed how much she and her mother are alike... well, the insanity part that is. Just then there was another gurgling noise, Tauron and Serena stopped along with Alice as she checked her stomach.

GGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGAAAAAL

yup, Alice was hungry.

"Ano... can we take a break?" asked Alice in a very cute way. Tauron nodded and Serena calmed down and silently agreed. The Chase was over, and they all walked to the cafeteria.

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Well thats the end of chapter one! hope it was funny... or crackified random! hope you enjoyed the story!- 

CHEERIOS!


	2. Robots,Exorsists,Scientists oh my

Dear readers of the world... ah screw this (crumbles piece of paper) ANYWAY! thanks to my positive feed back from this story of mine I shall continue it! I would just like to say that I do not own D.Gray-Man, Alice19th or anything else! but I do own the characters thank you very much.

Now on with the madness! (pushes red shiny button)

BOOM! CRASH! BANG! GOLDFISH! (sorry minor error, my bad)

ow... I'm OK... wait... no I'm not... don't mind me! I'll find the first aid... I think O.O''

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"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD" said Alice as the mighty three some went to the kitchen. Alice was indeed hungry, you never mess with her stomach! NEVER. Tauron was looking at the past pictures that he had taken of himself, Alice, and Serena as best friends at Cony Island when they were six. 

_'him and his memories'_ thought Serena. Serena remembered that day almost as if it was yesterday. Alice loved sweets and had Cotton candy, with a big smile on her face, Tauron being the idiot that he is grinned so wide that you would think that it would stick to his face, And Serena with her hair to her shoulders at the time with a scowl on her face and you wanna know why? because the _stupid _clown took the picture and Serena **Hated** clowns.

"Er... Serena? you ok? you scowling again" pointed out Alice in an overly innocent way. Serena did a half smirk half smile (is that even possible?!)

"Mind your own business **bean sprout**"

"for the last time quit. calling. me. that **STUPIDIOT**" said Alice twitching. Tauron laughed like a mad man. Alice was just so cute even when she was angry.

"Alice, cafeteria" said Tauron. Alice then went into la-la land.

"Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddd" said Alice. She then went to the line.

"the way she says food like that sometimes makes me think that Alice is some type of food zombie" said Tauron laughing nervously. Serena waked him on the head.

"baka" said the raven haired exorcists as she joined the line. In the line was none other then Raven! then other exorcists...ano... wait... oh yeah that makes four people now! (In your face people I can count!!!)

"Yo" said Raven.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD" said Alice. Raven sweat droped.

"shes in her food zombie mode!" said Tauron! Serena whacked Tauron on the head again.

"you know if you keep that up hes gonna turn more into an idiot" said Raven.

" To late" said Serena.

Finally everyone got there meals and started eating. Alice got a literal mountain of food but since I'm the autherness I'm to lazy to name all the food she has!

"wow bean sprout where does it all go?" asked Serena

"sowwy wah was thaf? I canf talkf with my moufh full" said Alice as she had a turkey stuffed in her mouth. Serena looked confused.

"In Alice stuffed with food language she said "sorry what was that? I cant talk with my mouth full" said Raven as she took another bite of her burger. Tauron was eating candy, chocolate syrup, rice pudding, frosting, and a milk shake. (whoa thats allot of sugar... I wonder if Tauron will get sick later in the day?... or really fat?)

"niceweatherwerehavingtoday" said Tauron with the sugar rush finally kicking in. Everyone blinked. Serena and Raven were confused now because Tauron spoke to fast for anyone of the two to translate. Alice coughed and then spoke,

"yeswehavebeengettingniceweather" said Alice smiling.

Alice was indeed something far from normal thats for sure.

"_come in Alice are you there? come in. over!_" said Alice's golem walkie talkie.

"yes this is Alice speaking over" said Alice in a professional tone. (talk about you multiple personality complex)

_"Alice is that you?! thank god! its me dad! listen your mom went over bored with the coffee so if you see a gigantic robot that says Sakuran three RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!" _

everyone blinked.

"**NANI?!?!?!?!**" screamed the foursome.

_"Its true! what ever you do don't let it get outside or who knows what will happen! By order of the Vice officer code names- Alice19th, Shadow11, katakana girl, and Ravens blood will activate they're innocence and destroy the robot I repeat DESTROY THE ROBOT!"_

"What?! why do we have to? cant you send any other of the exorcists?" asked Serena

_"Your the only ones who aren't on duty dumb ass now get moving this is an order!"_

-Break-

"did you contact them Mr. Kawasaki?" asked Mr. Brown

"I'm talking to them now" said Jack while talking on the golem. Just then there was a crash in the office.

"oh no! Its her!" screamed Jimmy, Both Mr.Brown and Jack turned around to see Sakuran three with the head officer of top of it.

"oh boy" said Jack.

"Play times over gentlemen" said Sakura in a singy song voice.

"Play times over Sakura I contacted Raven, Tauron, Serena, **and **Alice! you don't stand a chance now" said Jack

"Impossible" said Sakura "Exorcists cant break this metal its to strong, besides even if they could break it Sakuran three has a back up system with lasers" said the head officer laughing.

"wanna bet?" asked Serena. Head officer Sakura turned around to see Serena with her Katakana out in full blast with a scowl, Tauron who seems to be really hyper with his shadows out on its level two set, and Raven with her cross guns ready at full blast.

_'wait?... wheres Alice?_' thought the head officer.

"Hi mom" said a voice. Head officer turned around surprised not even hearing someone behind her to See Alice with the innocence the dark gloves. (they aren't really gloves you know O.o)

"hm... this could get interesting" said Sakura smirking. Alice smirked back.

"MOVE OUT!" Screamed Alice as she jumped away from the robot. Sakuran three got out its lasers.

"Bring it on!" screamed The head officer. Serena jumped in the air and was about to give it a slice in half!  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" the head officer switched the lasers on! the next thing you know lasers everywhere, Alice jumped in time and grabbed Serena out of the laser field. Raven started shooting the Robot with its level two bullets the devil bullets. The bullets hit Sakuran three but was deflected.

"damn, I gotta get closer if I want to hit a soft spot" said Raven as she ran at inhuman speed to get closer. (did I forget to mention its a laser tag game with real lasers?)

Tauron and His shadows went through the robot and turned off the lasers.

"woot! I knew that would work!" said Tauron throwing his fists in the air.

"Great job Tauron! can your shadows turn off the back up generator?" asked Alice while hitting it with a couple of punches. Sakuran three was taken back by a few steps.

"What do I look like to you a technician?" screamed Tauron across the hall.

"I'll take that as a no" said Raven while shooting the robot.

"What do you expect hes an idiot!" screamed Serena as she plunged through Sakuran three with brutal force. Alice looked at the robot and then her brain struck an idea. (thats a first)

"I got it! Tauron aim your shadows under the robot! Raven use your bullets to penetrate the top, once you do take out as many cables as you can! Serena and I will take the front and destroy its eyes so it cant see us!" screamed Alice. Everyone did so Tauron went under and destroyed the legs in the process, Raven got to the cables and started ripping them apart, Alice and Serena while dodging many bullets, lasers, and cannon blasts took out its eyes.

-In the robot-

"Damn Alice figured it out, oh well time to go to the emergency circuits" said The head officer while pushing many buttons. " there that should do it, Lets see you crack this one little Alice in wonderland" smirked Sakura.

-Break-

"you think its dead?" asked Tauron looking at the scrap metal that used to be the robot.

"don't know" said Alice

The robot then brought it self up again this time taking all its guns out and pointed Twoards them.

"Shit were against the wall! theres no way out!" screamed Tauron

"According to my calculations even if we do manage to survive we wont make it out without deadly injuries" said Raven

"Thank you for pointing that out captain obvious" said Serena sarcastically.

All the cannons were glowing red and were about to shoot.

"Good bye cruel sweet world" said Tauron over dramatically.

"I cant believe I'm gonna die because of my crazy mom and a robot" said Alice

"And I cant believe I'm gonna die with you idiots! especially you bean sprout" said Serena annoyed

"Stupidiot" shot back Alice.

"OK final words have been said now go with a murderous death quietly" said Raven

Just as the Cannons were about to shoot the whole robot shut down and fell to the ground.

The exorcists- "Eh?" O.o

The scientists- "Eh?" O.O

Head officer Sakura- "Huh?"O.O"

The autherness- WHAT?!" :D

the readers- "Eh?" O.o

the world- "HHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH???????" O.O

Now if we all zoom in to the picture you will see that there is a plug on Sakuran threes back, and now go all the way to the first floor you see the janitor unplugging the plug to Sakuran three to replace it with the plug for the vacuum.

"Well game over you win I admit it" said Sakura with her hands in the air. Sakura walked past the scientists.

"Jack make me coffee" said The head officer going back to her work station. Jack was in total shock and then he fainted.

"...er... lets all just agree that this day never happened" said Alice

**"Right"** said the other three

-BREAK-

Alice was at the top of the empire state building looking out at the glowing city. just drinking in the sight of it all and sighed, Man did the day take a toll on her. There were foot steps coming twords Alice. Alice turned around to see her mom and dad with her now.

"What are you guys doing out here?" asked Alice

"Just looking out at the city" said Jack as he sat on the left side of Alice, Sakura sat on her right.

"weird day today right?" asked her father

"you have no idea" said Alice trying to shove away the memories that had just happened today. Sakura smiled and gave her a hug.

"You know not many people get to be with there families in the Dark order, AND be in such a great city... well... if you take out all the hobos that is" said Sakura, Alice giggled.

"Well, your mom and I are gonna hit the hay. We just came up here to say good night and tell you that we love you" said Jack as he gave Alice a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't stay up to late ok?" said Sakura as she gave Alice a kiss on the cheek to. Alice smiled and hugged them both.

"Ok, I love you to" said Alice smiling.

Alice then realized that she has a great family and and great Friends. Sure they're a bit wacky but hey, that just makes things fun doesn't it?

* * *

HHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO everybody! hope you all enjoyed another chapter of my extreamly wierd but funny (I think) story! until we meet again in the next chapter!

CHEERIOS -

now see that glowing button that says review? push it!


	3. Thanksgiving in the black order

Wow I have good committed readers here which means in thanks heres another crack random chapter! Hopefully Sakura isn't on crack again

Sakura- I heard that!!

ANYway, thank you all who chose to read this er story yeah thats what you call it. and by the way, HAPPY LATE TURKEY DAY!!! and in honor of the peoples who invented thanks giving the Pilgrims, I will make a thanx giving special hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer- I don't own D.Gray-Man if I did I would have made it like this Fanfic of mine -.-''

ON WITH THE MADNESS!!!

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The American Black order was having a normal day as usual her in the big Apple. Mad scientists, Exorcists, and finders all doing their jobs... 

"ITS TURKEY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sakura

NOT.

All the employees are all taking a day off from work because its none other then Thanks Giving! Which also means...

"Oh boy its thanks giving again, everybody to your battle stations!" said Vice officer Jack.

That the whole Black order is in chaos of celebration.

"MORNING!" said Alice as she walked in, everyone was busy getting decorations, food ready, and lots of chairs.

"Morning sweetie, don't mind us just working on the calling list" said Jack on the phone. Alice just loved the holidays. Serena came in as pissed as usual.

"Yo" said Serena

"Morning, any of your family members coming over Serena?" asked Alice, Serena scowled.

"No, what about you Bean sprout?" asked Serena

"STUPIDIOT. My grandpa's coming" said Alice.

Serena thought for a moment and then she hit a memory

"OOOOOOhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh, I remember that old geezer, man he knows how to climb an elevator shaft" said Serena.

"Nothing like my Granddad coming for a visit" said Alice smiling, A picture was taken. Alice and Serena obviously knew who that was.

**"Hey Tauron"** they both said. Tauron came out from underneath the computer desk.

"Man its just no fun trying to immortalize your moments like it used to be" said Tauron looking disappointed. Alice sweat droped.

"Alice, Serena, Tauron! there you are!" said Sakura "Listen we need you to go into the city and buy these things for us" Sakura gave Serena the list and dashed off. Serena looked at the list and opened it, the list went down to the floor and extended another five feet long.

"what the HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" screamed Serena, Alice closed her ears in time, but poor Tauron was obliterated by the sound waves. The list was long, and it would probably take a normal person months before they could do all this.

"Well looks like we got lots of things to do today, look I'll take the first fifty things on the list, and the same will go for you guys. got it?" asked Alice.

"were gonna need one more person then, theres two hundred things on the list" said Serena looking at the things they needed to get.  
"I'll help" said Raven coming from no where.

"We did it we solved the mystery!" said Tauron.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What mystery? there wasn't one to begin with baka" said annoyed exorcist. (Serena)

"I know I just felt like saying that. Now give me my piece of the list" said Tauron. Alice took the list and split it by fourths and gave everyone one of the pieces.

-BREAK-

"Oh My God! that took forever!!!!" said Alice as she fell to the floor.

"For once I'm glad to see this god damn place again, and thats saying something" said Serena droping everything at once.

"TO. MUCH. **SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFF**!!!!!" said Tauron.

"I swear if I see one of those talking turkeys again who knows what I'm gonna do" said Raven as she to droped her bags.

"Oh there you are! you got everything on the list right?" asked Sakura while the finders took the bags away from the four exorcists.

"Yeah, except they didn't have a nacho Fontaine that has four different types of cheese" said Alice looking at the list questionably.

"Oh well I can just build one then" said Sakura. "Oh by the way look what Koumi from England sent to me!" It was a talking turkey "isn't it just adorable?" asked The head officer.

"RRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Raven as she pulled out her guns. Raven then shot repeatably at the turkey sixteen times until it was all junk.

"MY TURKEY!!!" sobbed Sakura.

"Raven what did you do that for?! even though It was totally hilarious" said Tauron (Is it possible to scold and to complement someone at the same time?)

"**It**. was. **evil**." said Raven twitching.

-BREAK-

_flash back_

"Head officer you think Sakura from America would like this?" asked Riba while holding the talking turkey robot

"Keep that thing away from me!!!!" screamed Koumi while holding a pitch fork.

-BREAK-

"OK WHERES MY GRANDDAUGHTER?" asked an old man, everyone turned around to see Mr. Kawasaki aka Grandpa Louie... or granddad!

"Granddad!!!" said Alice as she jumped into his arms. Everyone got that really fuzzy feeling inside.

"Tauron did you get a picture of that?" asked Sakura with a tear in her eye.

"um... yes"

"MAKE ME A COPY OR ELSE YOU WONT SEE THE LIVING LIGHTS OF DAY!!!" said Sakura with flames in her eyes. Tauron sweat doped.

"Here Alice I got you a present" said Grandpa Louie "Now close your eyes"

"Ok granddad" said Alice as she followed her grandfathers instructions. Granddad then took something out of his bag.

"Ok open" said her Granddad. Alice opened her eyes to see a new out fit. It was a simple 1900's classic. Black lace gloves!

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH PRETTY" said Alice as she put the gloves on.

"And there durable for any use thanks to your mom" said Granddad smiling with his toothy grin.

"um... kids" said Jack "um... you can take the rest of the day now, go have fun"

the foursome was in silence...

"TO THE ELEVATOR SHAFT!" screamed Alice

" dibs on the first try!" said Tauron. They all left, leaving only the adults behind to get back to work again.

"er... they still play on the elevator shaft?" asked Grandpa Louie

"What do you expect? Her genes flow from a mad scientist" said Jack as his thumb pointed tweeds his wife.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" screamed Sakura with the lightning in the back round. Mr. Brown turned off the lightning switch once again. everyone sweat droped, There boss was truly insane.

-BREAK-

Now it was time for dinner. everyone in the black order was in there seats waiting for the head officer to cut the turkey. They all said their prayer, Indeed it was truly a bliss seeing everyone in the black order so happy. people where smiling (except Serena) laughing at jokes. Sakura lifted the pan for everyone to see the turkey but when she did. A TURKEY FLEW OUT OF THE PAN!

"WTF?!" said Sakura

"Mayday we got an uncooked turkey on the loose!" screamed Jimmy as he fell off his seat.

The turkey ran across the table knocking everything off the table and on to the people. Some of the scientist tried to catch the turkey but failed miserably. Just then there was a zap from the other end of the table, The turkey was dead! and not only that it looked as if it was cooked to begin with!

"The joy of lasers, right Sakura?" asked Granddad

"Righto dad!" said Sakura giving him the thumbs up.

"How come every time we try to do something normal for a change it always ends up the complete opposite?" asked Tauron, still trying to get mashed potato's out of his hair.

"Only here in the black order" said Serena while flicking pea's away.

Alice finally got her head out of the bucket, Literally!

"Well I guess the screw ups in this foundation makes us unique and fun. And I'm thankful to that" said Alice smiling

"AMEN TO THAT SISTER" said Tauron. Raven whacked Tauron with a pan and Taurons face found its way back to the bowl of mashed potato's, He was knocked out cold. Everyone stared at Raven...

"Sorry I had to do that" said Raven

"**AMEN TO THAT**" said Everyone

* * *

Hello. Hoped you all enjoyed that chapter! see that button that says review on it? push it and REVIEW!!!!!

CHEERIOS! -


	4. Cony Island and the exorcists woot!

Hello peoples of the world once again I'm here with another chapter! remember I am trying to update as fast as possible and believe me I have alot of time on my hands if it means I can update this fast. I just choose not to do anything after school. Yes I have a life, I just let the word suffer without my numerous talent to make the word more of a happy or laughing place. I'm Babbling aren't I?

people who are reading this- YES!

OMG it answered! oh well on with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer- Me no own besides characters!

ON WITH THE MADNESS!

* * *

Serena was in a bad mood today. A very bad mood today, and you wanna know why?! well... she just felt like that when she woke up in the morning so there was only one thing to do... 

"Soba" said the annoyed exorcist as she walked to the cafeteria.

Of coarse by going to the cafeteria you have to go past the science department and thats where Alice is, Maybe she could cheer her up. Serena opened the door to the science department,

"Morning" A plate went flying and almost hit Serena but hit the wall instead. "What the fuck is wrong with you people?! you could have knocked me out you bastards!" Screamed Serena. Alice came walking by and stopped.

"Morning Serena... hey is that the fine china you have?" asked Alice in a very innocent way. Serena whacked her hand against her face.

"Not helping Bean Sprout I'm in a bad mood" said Serena. Alice blinked and then looked worried.

'damn I'm making her worry!!!' thought Serena. "Er never mind what I just said"

Alice blinked again in confusion but shrugged it off, she went back to giving everyone there mail.

"So your in a bad mood huh? anything I can do to help oh comrade of mine?" asked Alice

"I don't know just do what you usually do that could make me smile thats all" said Serena in a huff. Alice then started to giggle.

"Whats so funny?"

"You are! I remember when we were little kids and you would try to find a way to get away from me as much as possible!!!" laughed Alice as she started walking with Serena to the Cafeteria,

Nothing like some good old food in the stomach to cheer ya up" Said the little exorcist.

"You want me to eat OLD FOOD?" asked Serena obviously not getting the joke. Serena is just to serious sometimes

Alice blinked... and blinked again.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" laughed Alice as she started to run away knowing what was gonna happen next.

"ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?! GET BACK HERE YOU!!!!" screamed Serena as she started chasing Alice down the hall, unfortunately Alice didn't see the sign that says CAUTION WET FLOOR and then started to slide very ungracefully (but did not fall) down the hall.

"Whow! wet floor!" screamed Alice as she tried to balance herself. When she found a good stance she Saw Serena come around the corner with her sword out.

"Wait till I get my hands on you!" said Serena running towards Alice.

"WAIT SERENA DON'T RUN ITS A WET FLOO-"

"WHOW!" to late Serena fell down and was going down the hall very fast and knocked into Alice like a bunch of bowling pins. (STRIKE!)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" both exorcist screamed at the top of their lungs both then fell into the air vent and descended down to the first floor. (did I forget to mention that they live on the TOP floor of the empire state building?)

"Stupid Air vents! Who washes a floor anyway?!" screamed Serena as the continued falling.

"Um... they invented them a while ago they call them janitors" said Alice sweat dropping.

-Break-

The first floor of the empire state building was filled with finders gathering information around the world but they obviously were disguised as business men so that way they wont freak anyone out. Some were drinking coffee, others were trading information for up coming missions, Sal was managing the calls systems, so it was really busy.

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone looked at the cloud of smoke and then emerged the two exorcists. One was running and laughing like a mad man

Alice

Another was an angry exorcist who seems to be chasing the blond exorcist which looks to be a katana.

Serena

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!" screamed Serena

YOUR GONNA HAVE TO CATCH ME IF YOU WANNA KILL ME!" said Alice in a singy song voice. The two exorcists went out of the empire state building and into the streets of NYC where the hobos roam! (not really but most likely yes) Alice and Serena were running at top speed all the way to china town and then they both got tired.

"Bwa no more running I cant take it anymore!" said Alice as she stopped to take a breather. Serena who was right behind her also stopped while breathing heavily.

"remind me why I was chasing you?" asked Serena

"ummmmm... something to do with a hallway and annoyed" said Alice trying to remember also. Serena looked around and saw that they were clearly in china town. Alice also looked and was immediately mesmerized by the shops.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH look at all the shops!" said Alice. Serena shook her head. "what?" asked the little exorcist. Serena smirked,

"Nothing but while were here maybe we can go to Cony Island" said Serena

"CONY ISLAND?!?!?!? the last time we were there we were six! you seriously want to go there?!" asked Alice. Alice could not believe her ears, Serena- the most scariest exorcist in the black order wanted to go to Cony Island?!

"OH MY GOD THIS IS IT! HELL FROZE ALL OVER AND PARADISE HAS BEEN OBLITERATED!!! SERENA WANTS TO GO TO CONY ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Alice screamed so loud that Allen could have sworn he heard something.

-BREAK-

Allen woke up from his sleep in shock,

"What is it Allen-kun? had a bad dream?" asked Leenalee, Allen started laughing nervously.

"I could have sworn someone screamed Cony Island" said Allen

"You mean in New York?" asked Levi

"Thats the place" said the white haired exorcist while checking his ears.

"Maybe you finally lost it bean sprout" said Kanda smirking

"HEY!"

-BREAK-

Serena and Alice were at Cony Island, Alice was eating a cotton candy and Serena finished her popcorn. Alice was giggling like a little school girl, Serena and her practically went on mostly the scream machines except for the tunnel of love (for obvious reasons) and the scary rides because Alice HATES ghosts. (she battles Akuma and shes afraid of ghosts?!) Alice then bumped into someone.

"Ooops, sorry I didn't see where I was-" Alice looked and saw Tauron. Serena was giving him the WTF look cause he had a hello kitty mask on while eating ice cream.

"TAURON!" said Alice cutely while glomping him.

"Hhahahahaha nice to see you guys to, what brings you here at this amusement park?" asked Tauron while liking some of his ice cream. (mmmmmmm Cinnamon)

"Serena wanted to go actually" said Alice.

Tauron stared. and stared (dot dot dot)

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" laughed Tauron. Suddenly he calmed down,

"whew that was a good one, but no. seriously why are you here?" asked Tauron. Serena was twitching, he didn't believe that she wanted to come here?!

"I was serious the first time Tauron, Serena seriously wanted to come here" said the small exorcist annoyed now.

Tauron Stared again...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Tauron was on the floor now laughing his ass off.

"ITS NOT THAT FUNNY!" screamed Serena

"HAHAHAHAHA YES HAHA IT HAHAHA IS!!! Aw my ribs!" Tauron was crying from laughter now holding his guts. Tauron then slowly got up got his camera ready and asked some random person take a picture of them all together, They all posed. Alice was in the middle with cotton candy while holding both of her best friends, Tauron with his idiotic grin with his ice cream, and Serena scowling. Once the picture was taken Tauron was giving back his camera he looked at the picture. Alice looked to, Serena was bored and she also looked...

"I'm getting the scene of Deja Voo" said Alice while looking at the picture.

"It looks like the same picture from when we were six" said Tauron

"Only alot older" continued Serena in slight amazement. This was kinda awkward...

"You think this place is haunted?" asked Alice sweat dropping

"God I can only hope" said Serena, Tauron was shocked

"You want cony Island to close down don't you?!" screamed Tauron.

-BREAK-

Tauron, Serena, and Alice were all looking out into the Hudson river as they were fishing at the harbor, The sun was just about to set giving the scene a beautiful ora like those crappy soap operas on channel 7. (IT"S TRUE!)

"Ah this is the life!" said Alice "Hanging out with my two best friends while fishing in a polluted river, I can get used to this"

"Aw man, Alice! you ruined the moment!" whined Tauron

"We were having a moment?" asked Serena who just got out of lala land.

"YES! The sun was setting as we were awed by the scenery! just like days of our lives!" said Tauron sobbing tears of joy.

"you watch to many of those crappy soap operas" said Serena Bluntly.

"Hey! I caught a toaster!" said Alice

* * *

Tis the end of Chapter four so I bid you adu! cant wait to see you all soon!...HEY That rhymed! well anyway see the button that says review? push it! you know you want to... 

CHEERIOS! -


	5. the joy of look a likes

Yo peoples! I'm Back! and I'm ready to say... uh... (looks at flash cards) My fifth chapter and... ah screw this (throws flash cards away in some random direction) GOLDFISH!!! now remember, I would really appreciate it if you people would review this story so that way I get to know what you people think! I love getting reviews because that means I can just improve my story more. SOOOOOO yeah thats about it...

Disclaimer- I do not own D.Gray-Man because if I did I would have made at as crazy as this as this fanfic of mine!

ON WITH THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

The American black order was under reconstruction due to a crazy scientist for a supposed attack of the living socks (cough Sakura cough) and was then supposed to be roomed with another Black Order, So they all decided to go to England. 

"I wonder what the English Black Orders like?" asked Tauron while reading a newspaper.

"Hope its dark and depressing so we can leave soon" said Serena

"You really don't want to go do you?" asked Alice

"Of course she doesn't, she has hates trains" said Raven bluntly while chewing on a piece of gum.

"Traitor" mumbled Serena,

The four Exorcists where currently in England as we speak. They were waiting for a train to take them to the Black order, unfortunately it was late.

"Damn that train is slow, are you sure we got the right tickets?" asked Tauron, this time making an origami bunny out of the newspaper.

"Yep, My dad did it this time. If my mom did it who knows what would go wrong" said Alice sighing, Her mom can be such a moron when it comes to the simple life like buying a train ticket.

"If it was her that ordered the tickets we would have ended up in the Chinese Black Order instead" said Raven making a bubble out of the gum she was chewing.

-BREAK-

"HEYDIDYOUHERE?! THEBLACKORDERFROMAMERICAISCOMINGHEREDUETOAACCEDENT!ISNTTHISGREAT!" Screamed Levi. Kanda was unplugging his ears. Leenalee looked puzzled and Allen smiled.

"He said the American Black Order is coming to stay here due to some reconstruction" said Allen while eating some dangos.

"WOW Allen, you understood him?!" asked Leenalee in disbelief.

"When your with Levi and he wont leave you alone, you kinda get used to his fast talk" said Kanda smoothly with no expression.

"I love you to Yuu-chan" said Levi sounding like a girl. Kanda drew mugen out,

"Quit calling me that before I slice your throat open" said Kanda with a scowl. (Kanda's ssssscccccccaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyy O.O)

"OH! thats right! Nii-san's best friend is in the American Black Order. shes the head officer there to, her husband is the vise officer. I think they have a kid to who's an exorcist" said Leenalee now remembering.

"Is the head officer is as crazy as Koumi?" asked Kanda

"No shes twice as crazy as nii-san, well... at least thats what everyone says here in this order. But she is really smart" said Leenalee trying to calm down everyone. Allen dropped his dango, Levi was shocked and Kanda was twitching. Now when your in this black order you can do the following-

A) barricade the door

B) Hitch hike to Mexico

C) shoot them all with the scientists bazooka (just in case for when Koumirin II attacks)

or D) all of the above

The three exorcists did the following, Allen was getting the Bazooka, Levi was barricading the door, and Kanda was packing his stuff to get to Mexico. Leenalee sweat dropped. Sometimes the three of them are total morons.

-BREAK-

The exorcists finally reached the English Black order, and it was raining. Alice was soaked from head to to toe, Hannah brought an umbrella, Serena used her bag as a umbrella also, and Tauron's shadows made good use for once. The four of them reached the Gate keeper and they looked at it questionably.

"I think its a guardian" said Tauron

"It's kind of creepy" said Alice sweat dropping.

"HELLO!!!! WE ARE FROM THE AMERICAN BLACK ORDER! YOU KNOW FROM NYC? WE COME IS PEACE!!!" screamed Tauron while he did the alien peace sign. Alice sighed. Tauron never stops making his appearances... well, down right whack. The gate keeper looked down at them.

"Please get a examination from the gate keeper" said a person. There was a sound of shoving away and something breaking.

"I know thats my daughter you nimrods!" screamed none other then SAKURA! At least she made it to the Black Order safely.

"er... Mom?" asked Alice.

"HONEY?! IS THAT YOU?! wait... ok only my little Alice would know this, whats our secret password and your deepest darkest secret?" asked Sakura suspiciously. Alice sweat dropped and sighed.

"The password is ice cream, and my deepest darkest secret was the time I got my head caught in a sock" said Alice as bluntly as possible trying not to blush but failed miserably.

"Yep thats definitely Alice, ok you can let her in now.

"You got your head caught in a sock?" asked Tauron

"I WAS SEVEN!!!" screamed Alice in total embarrassment now.

"DAMN YOU CRAZY SCIENTIST!" screamed Serena while glaring daggers with her Katana out, luckily Raven was there to hold her back. The gate slowly opened with a bunch of exorcists greeting them. Everyone froze, this was awkward...

"NIII-SAN?!?!?!" screamed Serena in shock as she saw Kanda, Kanda looked equally baffled as well.

"Holy crap you have a brother?! why didn't you say anything????!!!!!" screamed Tauron as he took a picture of Kanda in wonder. Kanda scowled,

"Great another Levi" said Kanda as he went to his little sister. Tauron was looking at his questionably.

"What did you say Yuu- chan? something about another me?" asked Levi, he spotted Tauron with the camera looking as weird as him with that "whhhhhhhhhatttttttttttttt?????" look.

"OOH what do you know you do have my characteristics" said Levi while observing him.

"Names Tauron nice to meet you" said Tauron grinning, Levi grinned back.

"Call me Levi, I'm a bookman. Oh by the way if you see an old geezer that looks like a panda, run." said Levi.

"Panda?" asked Tauron

Raven was looking around and spotted Leenalee looking around greeting everyone to the black order. Raven half smiled.

"What do you know its my cousin Leenalee" said Raven smirking openly, Leenalee spotted Raven and looked Shocked.

"RAVEN?! is that you?!" said Leenalee, Raven nodded and then ran up to her and gave her a big hug. Everyone looked at the scene, Leenalee looking happy with the flowers in the back round, and Raven with her dark and mysterious ora

_'There nothing alike!!' _thought everyone.

"So can you split your sword in two now?" asked Kanda with no expression, Serena gave a smirk.

"What do you expect? don't think I'm as weak as you Nii-san" said Serena, Kanda's scowl deepened.

"Is that a challenge Gaki?" asked Kanda twitching, Serena looked as though something snapped.

"Who you calling a Gaki? Baka!" said Serena twitching. (The joys of brother and sister hood) everyone was steping away from the scene- SCARY. Tauron then was looking around and got worried,

"Hey have any of you seen Alice?" asked Tauron, Everyone looked around and then spotted Alice with Allen. They looked totally amazed at the resemblance! That beautiful smile, the goofy laugh, same face features, same hight, same age, and they are both cute!!!! Kanda twitched, Tauron and Levi both got a nose bleed and Taron took a picture of the two in there bliss of conversation, Raven got confused when she saw the two she couldn't tell which was Alice or Allen.

"SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Tauron began with his Sparkely eyes but Levi beat him to the punch!

"CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Levi as he glomped Alice and Allen at the same time. Alice and Allen both looked like they were both being choked to death. Kanda and Serena twitched (again) and went over to the two idiot exorcists who dared choke the two innocent exorcists. Kanda just wanted to save Allen so he can kill him later, Serena just wanted to save her best friend from THE DEATH OF TAURON GLOMPS!

"IDIOT RED QUIT HUGGING MOYASHI LIKE THAT!" screamed Kanda as he hit Levi and gracefully landed on the floor with a perfect ten. Serena hit Tauron and he was crying .

"Is it so bad to hug an innocent girl?!" screamed Tauron in tears Serena got that scowl back on.

"Unless you want to end up as mince meat QUIT suffocating her!" Alice was scared and Allen was surprised. Raven and Leenalee went over and Leenalee went to big sister mode.

"OH MY GOD ALLEN IS SHE YOUR LITTLE SISTER?! SHE'S SOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!" Screamed Leenalee as she hugged Alice. Alice just played copycat and hugged back with a cute smile. Tauron took yet another picture.

"Ummm Leenalee shes not my sister, were not even related... I think..." said Allen as she took a closer look at Alice.

"A MYSTERY!" screamed Levi who came out of his coma, Kanda hit him again and Levi was once again knocked out.

"Sorry about that, he's very annoying" said Kanda with a strait face. Everyone at that moment then agreed to never get on Kanda's bad side while they were here.

* * *

Hello fellow readers! sorry it took me so long you wont believe what I had to go through this week. anyway as the usual thank you for reading and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D 


	6. when elevators attack!

Hello everybody, Tis me! embrenn here with another one of incredibly weird fanfic well here goes nothing... or was it chocolate pudding?

Disclaimer! (hides in bomb shelter)

Disclaimer- embrenn does not own D.Gray-Man for if she did it would have ended up as my fanfic got it?

Such a sad but true saying I DON'T OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sobbing)

ON WITH THE MADNESS, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.o sorry...

* * *

After Levis knock out, all the exorcists decided to head in, because the gate keeper would not stop complaining that everyone was an akuma. Allen was with Alice talking about there favorite foods, and Serena and Kanda were actually listening! (OMG) Tauron was showing Levi his scrap book of 'Alices cute moments book' and Serenas 'Things that Serena never do! book' Leenalee was also looking at the pictures and was squealing about how cute Alice looked in the cosplay pictures at the anime convention. Raven... well I think she just turned into a mindless zombie... 

"Dangos huh? mmmmmmmm I personally like strawberry's more. They are just so sweet!" said Alice smiling in daydream mode.

"Aw but your sweeter Alice, I bet guys in America drool over at your cuteness!!!!!" screamed Leenalee who also had a camera in hand who was taking pictures of Alice. Alice just smiled innocently. Allen was later put in as a pair, They just look so alike!

"Moyashi..." began Kanda, Both Alice and Allen looked at him at the same time.

"**WHAT?**" asked Alice and Allen at the same time. Kanda looked like he was gonna show a half smile, but instead it turned into a smirk.

"Serena I never knew you nicknamed your friend Moyashi" said Kanda, Serena fell over anime style.

"SO WHAT IF I DID?! SHES SHORT SO THATS WHY I NAMED HER MOYASHI DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!" screamed Serena in a huff. Both Allen and Alice looked at Kanda and Serena, and then they looked at each other.

"YOU WERE NICKNAMED MOYASHI?!" screamed Allen.

"I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!" screamed Alice also in shock. Both of the two short Exorcists sighed and turned to Kanda and Serena. The two raven haired exorcists noticed the black ora that was around them and were immediately ready for action. Alice had the look. yeah, THAT look. The one that said 'this my kill you till you die and go rot in the pits of hell face' This particular look also was the moyashis look as well. Both Kanda and Serena were slightly freaked out by the resemblance.

"Kanda" seethed out Allen

"Serena" seethed out Alice

"WERE GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-BREAK-

"Koumi!!!" screamed Sakura

"Sakura!!!" screamed Koumi, both of the two head officers hugged. Again now that two of the most dangerous but intelligent science department team was put together theres no telling what they might invent.

"So how is Koumirin III?" asked Head Officer Sakura.

"Doing great, I'm making modifications. what about your Sakuran VIII?" asked Koumi, Sakura sighed in defeat.

"Its in the repair shop" said Sakura. Koumi looked at Sakura and blinked again.

"Come again?" asked Koumi

"Its in the repairs, I was taking it for a test drive and My daughter along with the other exorcists destroyed it" Sakura sobbed, Koumi then hugged her like a big brother would.

"Don't worry..." began Koumi "We'll fix it and then we shall wreck havoc in the ORDER!!!" screamed Koumi. Sakura looked up and smiled, but it was more of a maniacal smile.

"YES WE SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" screamed Sakura, Koumi joined in the laughter. Riba and Jack saw there head officers do there maniacal laughter, they both sighed. Sometimes you should stop someone before they even begin there scheme. Both vice officers continued to spy on them.

-BREAK-

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" began Levi "What do you guys want to do?" asked the red headed exorcists. Alice was raising her head like a school girl. Levi was doing the aww thing. Alice was really adorable.

"Yes Alice" said Levi smiling, Alice beamed

"I want us to go exploring!" said Alice

"Where do you want to go exploring?" asked Leenalee, Alice looked around and saw the doors with the screams. That would be Koumi's experiment room.

"Lets go in there!" said Alice pointing to the door. Everyone shivered at the horror that Alice has pointed at. The door was old, covered what seem to be mold (or is it?) and not only that there was screamers being heard from the outside of the door!

"No offense Moyashi but we actually care about our lives" said Serena patting Alice behind the back. Alice sighed in defeat.

"Fine..." said Alice, Everyone was doing an inside cheer. Alice then beamed again,

"Can we go climb the elevator shaft?" asked Alice smiling again, Leenalee glomped Alice to the floor with a big hug.

"YOUR JUST SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!" said Leenalee, Allen sweat dropped. Leenalee was addicted to Alice's cuteness, then again who wouldn't? Serena took Alice away from Leenalee because breathing was getting problematic for Alice. Kanda sighed and began to walk away, the group was laughing at one of Levis joke but Alice noticed Kanda was going away. Alice escaped from the group and ran to Kanda and grabbed his hand. Kanda turned around to see Alice didn't want him to go away.

"Let go Moyashi" said Kanda in a very low tone, Alice looked up with a sad smile.

"Why wont you stay with us Kanda? We want you to be with us for exploring. Serena tells me your the best swordsman on earth is that true? you event taught Serena how to fight so you must be good! can you teach me sometime to?" said Alice with a bright smile. Kanda was trapped with Alice's cute smile, That was one powerful weapon he should not look at next time. Kanda caved in,

"Yes I'm a good swords man but I'm not the best" said Kanda smirking, Alice looked confused but then smiled. Alice led Kanda back to the group of loudmouths. Everyone was amazed, ALICE MADE KANDA CAVE IN AND WAS ACTUALLY HOLDING ALICE'S HAND AS A GESTURE!!!!

"OH MY GOD ITS THE END OF THE WORLD YUU-CHAN HAS GONE SOFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Levi in shock. Kanda took out his Mugen out and pointed it towards Levi.

"Say that again and I'll make sure you wont live to see the light, besides if my sister cant stand her nether can I" said Kanda.

"Well what are we waiting for, TO THE ELEVATOR SHAFT!!!!!!" screamed Tauron. everyone then opened the door and jumped into the shaft. everyone noticed that there were at least a hundred elevators going in every direction. It was like another city but with steel and moving buildings. It reminded Alice of the subway in New York... only with less rats.

"Hey there are alot more elevators to dodge... this is great!!!" said Alice as she used the force of gravity to make her go into another direction. At first Alice was there looking like she was floating on mid air, maybe even looking as if she was flying. Serena saw this and imagined angel wings and became in a daze; but as soon as an elevator came in between them Alice was gone from sight. Serena snapped out of her gaze.

"ALICE!!!" screamed Serena, No reply came.

"Where's Alice!?" asked Tauron now worried. Serena turned to Tauron.

"Wow... she disappeared into the unknown, just like that manga I read the other day" said Raven

"THE MANGA IS CURSED!!" said Tauron

"I don't know she disappeared when an elevator came in between us!" said Serena

"She Probably latched herself on the elevator to get higher" said Allen

"Thats probably it" said Leenalee, Kanda was already ahead of everyone. Kanda went to the nearest elevator and latched himself onto the elevator. Unfortunately the force was to great and had to let go.

"How did the Moyashi do it then? the force is to great to hold onto" said Kanda

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CALL HER MOYASHI AS WELL?!" screamed Allen

"Its because her innocence is her hands, Like Allen's hand its dead, but Alice must had lost the feelings in them a while ago so she probably didn't feel the force come into contact" explained Levi like an expert. Everyone was amazed that Levi wasn't as care free as they thought. Raven nodded in agreement, Leenalee used her dark boots and started to jump with amazing speed and disappeared from the group.

-BREAK-

Alice was going higher and higher to the top. Alice didn't mean to latch herself to the elevator, actually her uniform got caught onto a nail and was taken away. Alice finally broke free from the elevator and started to free fall again. Alice fixed her position and was diving down to get more altitude, this way she could go down faster. The small exorcist was gaining massive speed and was dodging elevators going at the speed of light. Alice saw Leenalee going upward with her innocence activated, Alice then snapped back to reality.

"Leenalee! I'm going down see you there!" said Alice as she zoomed passed Leenalee. Leenalee smiled, she was just glad that Alice was ok. Leenalee deactivated her boots and began to free fall as well, just not as fast.

-BREAK-

"were going to fast down if we keep this up were gonna have a hard fall" said Tauron as he was checking his calculations on a desk with a calculator. This was on Serena's Mind-

'How the hell did he get a desk and calculator?!?!' thought Serena with the WTF face. Allen saw what looked like a star but quickly realized it was Alice going REALLY fast.

"Hey I see Alice!" said Levi

"Don't you think shes going to fast?" asked Kanda, Everyone sweat dropped.

"STEER CLEAR ITS GONNA CRASH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Tauron, Everybody made way screaming until Alice passed them like a bullet.

"ALICE!!!" screamed Serena. Alice turned around and bounced against a passing elevator and hit against it so that way she could go normal speed.

"SORRY GUYS I GOT CAUGHT ON A NAIL BY A ELEVATOR AND IT SHOT ME UPWARD!" said Alice smiling apologetically, Serena twitched.

"YOU IDIOT MIGHT AS WELL MAKE US HAVE A HEART ATTACK!!!" screamed the raven haired exorcist; Today was just not Serena's day.

"Um I hate to break it to you all nut were about to hit impact on the ground" said Allen looking down. The ground was indeed there all ready to be hit against. Tauron activated his innocence in time and used his Shadows to catch everyone like some kind of trampoline, all the exorcists were bouncing up and down like in a circus.

"Nice going Tauron!" said Alice giving him the thumbs up. Tauron grinned like a maniac as usual.

"Way to go baka, your shadows proved useful for once in our lives" said Serena smirking.

"so... How do we get out of here?" asked Allen, Alice smiled evilly.

-BREAK-

The science team both American, and English were working very hard on the paper work. Seeing as though there were two head officers there was double the amount of paper work.

"Has anyone seen Sakura?" asked Jack digging around.

"I'm right here dear!" said Sakura raising her hand out of the sea of papers. everyone thought the same thing.

'SAKURA'S BURIED...'

BUMP

"did you hear that?" asked Koumi

"Hear what?" asked Riba

BUMP

"That" said Koumi bluntly. Everyone stopped to what they were doing and looked up, there were also sounds.

"Is this it?" asked a voice (Allen?)

"Yup, Yup" said another voice. (Alice?)

"Well could you hurry it up? it smells really bad in here!" said a deep voice. (Kanda?)

"Sorry" said a voice. (Levi?)

"EEEEWWWWW!!!" said two other voices. Both were feminine, but one was aggressive and the other seemed girly.(Serena? Leenalee?)

"The. Heat. Is. To. HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT!" screamed another. (RAVEN?!)

Finally the vent was destroyed and all eight exorcists landed to the sea of papers.

"AHHH I'M being attacked by words of the MAN, IT BURNSSSS!!!" screamed Levi.

"By the man, does he mean the Government?" asked Tauron.

"Yes" said Leenalee,

"He's a young rebel" said Raven bluntly

"I'll give you something, how about a knuckle sandwich?!" screamed Kanda.

"Is that another way of saying a BLT?" asked Levi in response.

"OW!!! A PAPER CUT!" screamed Tauron, Alice then passed by everyone doing a back stroke... SHE WAS SWIMMING IN PAPERS?!

"You know this isn't so bad" said Alice still swimming, Everyone including Alice all sighed. Lesson learned- When you fall into a sea of papers your bound to get a paper cut.

* * *

Hello everyone I know this may have sucked but rest assured I will have the next chapter all ready to go and IT WILL BE MORE FUNNY SO BEWARE!!!!! 

CHEERIOS -


	7. Sleep over

Hello everyone sorry it took me so long to write a new chapter, I have more stories now so it's kind of hard to keep up but I SHALL NEVER ABANDON THIS STORY CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRUEL!!! and so here would be yet another one of my chapters, please remember to review because I would really like to know what you people think. Mizu-chan this chapter is dedicated to you because I struck a brilliant idea while thinking about what I should write! hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer- I do not own D.Gray-Man for if I did I would not be writing stories on fanfiction.

ON WITH THE MADNESS!

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The whole entire science department finally returned to NYC now that the empire state building was done with the reconstructions, everyone was actually sad to leave but the English black order promised to write and do AIM some time (I wrote a chapter on that, look on my author bio and scroll down on the stories I have wrote ;) But now everyone was doing there jobs once again. The exorcists had to go on a mission but came back shortly. 

"I hate missions, sometimes there to short" said Serena looking annoyed.

"What happens if there long?" asked Tauron

"There even more annoying" was Serena's reply.

The two exorcists finally reached the science department to see Alice but when they opened the door-

"Incoming!" screamed Sakura, a gigantic goo bomb suddenly came strait for them,

"DUCK!" screamed Serena as she dove for the ground.

"Where?" asked Taruon, The goo bomb had a direct hit and Tauron was gooified!

"Nice, at least we know it can aim" said Sakura looking impressed at the accuracy of the cannon. Alice and the whole department where wearing goggles, but Alice took them off.

"Hey guys what do you think of the new invention?" asked Alice.

"I think it's pointless" said Serena, Alice pouted.

"When you hit an Akuma with it, they will burn like acid" said Alice in a professional tone.

"What happens if it hits a human?" asked Serena

Tauron got up slowly and was covered head to toe with green goo. Tauron almost looked like that sea monster in those horror Movies that Raven has.

"MY EYES THEY BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!" screamed Tauron, he began to panic and started to run while screaming, only to crash into a wall and fall down.

"ITS THE MONSTER FROM EPISODE 24 FROM GOOSEBUMPS!" screamed Sakura in horror (I don't know what episode I'm talking about I'm making this up... I think) "IT'S BACK FOR REVENGE AND IT'S OUT TO GET ME! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" screamed the insane scientist as she grabbed her flamethrower, Thus Sakura began to burn Tauron to a bacon like crisp, it would smell fine if only the flamethrowers fumes from the tank would stop! Jack slowly got up and walked to the fire extinguisher grabbed it and then de flamed Tauron who was now dust! he then turned to Sakura and sprayed her with the foam in front of her face, only to have her face look like Santa Clause. (like in those American cartoons lol) Then Jack knocked Sakura out.

"Remind me to extract my revenge on you mom next time" said Tauron who turned back into a human.

"No problem just don't kill her" said Alice getting ready to go out, Alice then struck an idea and smirked.

"Hey mom!" said Alice, Sakura who just woke up from her bang on the head looked at Alice.

"What's up my little angel?" asked Sakura patting Alice on the head.

"Do you think it would be ok if Serena, Tauron, and Raven could come over for a sleep over at the house?" asked Alice with a puppy dog face. Sakura fell for it immediately.

"Well of course you can, I think they should meet the other family members anyway" said Sakura, Alice began to do the happy dance inside her head, this was gonna be fun. (fufufufu)

-BREAK-

Tauron, Serena, and Raven were all sitting at a table talking away like no tomorrow about the usual things-

"I'm telling you KH2 is waay better then the first, the graphics are better anyway" said Tauron.

"I LOVE the manga" said Raven. Serena nodded at the comment.

"I like them all personally, ROXAS is my favorite character SQUEAL -" said Serena. everyone's mouth dropped... did Serena just SQUEAL?! O.O (OMG ITS THE END OF US ALL!) Alice just came in the cafeteria and spotted her friends talking about video games, it's quiet obvious since there screaming about it for the whole Order to hear.

"Hey guys whats up?" asked Alice as she sat with the group, everyone stopped yelling for the moment much to the fact that 32 finders lost there hearing.

"Not much we were talking about Kingdom hearts" said Tauron.

"uh... which one, the video game or the manga?" asked Alice

"BOTH" said Raven while sipping some of her tea.

"OH! that reminds me, do you guys want to come over for a sleep over?" asked Alice, everyone looked puzzled and then started to think...

"Ok I'll go, I got nothing to do this weekend anyway" said Serena

"I'll definitely go! who knows whats lurking in that house! maybe I might find Alice's diary!" screamed Tauron.

"Um... hello I'm right here" said Alice waving her hand at Tauron, Tauron ignored her.

"I AM A GENIUS!" said the loud exorcist.

"Not really" said Serena

"I'll go, it seems... interesting to say the most" said Raven while taking another sip of her tea.

-BREAK-

"Whoa" said Tauron as he dropped his bag, Raven's eye's actually widened, Serena dropped her mouth.

"ITS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!" screamed Serena.

"Uhhhh is it to much? should have I warned you earlier?" asked Alice looking worried.

"I like it, its a great modern house mixed with European and Asian design, very nice" said Raven who seemed impressed but who knows what goes on in her head. The four exorcists rang the door bell and waited for a couple of minutes suddenly the door creaked open with tentacles seeking out of it, it...it was a gigantic octopus!

"AH! BACK CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON!" screamed Tauron as he took his spear which I have no idea how he got. Alice smiled and went in front of them all.

"Relax guys thats just our butler Lefty" said Alice as she pointed out the bow tie. Serena had the 'WTF are you insane!?' look and Raven had the 'OMG' look and Tauron was in so much shock that he dropped his spear and cowered behind Alice in fear.

"Lefty these are my friends form the Black order, they are gonna be staying with us for the night so go fix us some snacks on the double please!" said Alice in a cute way, Lefty patted Alice on the head and walked/slid away.

"come on in!" said the petite exorcist, everyone followed in but something tells them that this is gonna be a long night.

* * *

Hello everyone! here is the chapter! I hope it did not displease any of you so thanks for reading and please review! 


	8. Sleep over part 2

Hello my fellow readers! sorry it took so long to create another chapter, school comes first you know and I got my mid term coming up... soooooooo yeah. This chapter is now dedicated to a new person who gave me a review and it is (drum roll) HELLBUTERFLY421!!!! well any whooz knowing that my fanfic is becoming a little more popular I would just like to say thank you for always giving me a review.

DISCLAIMER!- I do not own D.Gray-Man for if I did... well lets just say It would not be a pretty sight.

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Everyone was in the house getting ready for the sleep over of a life time! Alice was leading the way telling everyone about the house and what the rules were. 

"Ok those are the tubes that you can go into, they suck you up and lead you to another location in the house, that's the kitchen where Lefty is making our snacks" said Alice pointing the rooms. The house was a marvel it self. It was modern in the inside but was filled with many treasures that were probably artifacts from when Sakura and Jack were traveling before they entered the Black Order.

"Hey Alice whats this room?" asked Tauron as he started poking the door.

"WAIT TAURON NO THATS MY MOMS-!" Lasers then appeared and everyone ducked them in time but where in weird possessions from like when you played that freeze dance game in the second grade.

"experiment room" Alice finished her sentence, Everyone sweat dropped at the scene.

"Way to go dumb-ass now were stuck like this. ever heard of ask before you enter?" asked Serena with a scowl on her face.

"No actually, why?" asked Tauron.

"Why am I not surprised at that" said Raven who was talking to her self out load.

"LEFTY!" Alice screamed, The octopus emerged from the door to the kitchen and looked to where Alice was calling him.

"Sorry Lefty but could you be a dear and shut down the Lasers, were kinda stuck" said Alice with a weary smile. Lefty complied and left the room for a couple of seconds. Finally the Lasers were disabled.

"You guys ok?" asked Alice.

"GEEZ DO YOU HAVE THIS HOUSE BOOBY TRAPPED OR SOMETHING?!" said Tauron now looking scared to bits.

"Only the impotent rooms, and that would be the experiment room, the library, the safe, and the secret room." said Alice.

"Safe?" asked Raven.

"My dad doesn't trust banks" said Alice looking away with a weird smile. The gang finally reached Alice's room, it was filled with many things... anything but girly though.

"You have a little brother Alice?" asked Tauron with a grin, Alice looked shocked, Raven shook her head, and Serena looked as though she was gonna laugh like no tomorrow.

"Actually Tauron this is my room" Alice looked like she got hit with a bolder. "I just hate pink. ALOT" emphasizing the last point, Tauron then started to apologize like crazy, Serena took a good look at the room. It was a blue room, very spacious filled with manga, a snow bored, a couple of artifacts, spray paint, silly string, and a wall filled with video games to boot. There was also a closet filled with designer clothes probably from France and Japan. Finally to complete the room it had its own living room with a TV and a big bed probably king sized.

"Hey Alice whats this?" asked Tauron, Tauron then touched the tube and then he was sucked up.

"TAURON!" screamed Alice, but it was to late, Tauron was sucked up the tube and god knows where he went.

"Great now we gotta find him" Alice looked annoyed.

"Why? all we gotta do is go up the tube and we'll end up where he is" explained Raven, Alice shook her head.

"You don't understand, The tubes have highways he could end up anywhere in the house" said Alice. Serena got up,

"Well looks like we'll just have to trust lady luck and see where it will get us." said Serena looking pretty determined. Raven, Alice, and Serena all nodded and then went up in different tubes.

-BREAK-

Tauron finally got out of the tube.

"OH MY GOD! that was..." suddenly Tauron noticed an old man. he was bald, wore a collard shirt with a bow tie, he was wearing a pair of red pants...

"Hey old man can you tell me where I am?" asked the shadow exorcist, the old man turned around.

"Hey there sonny, hey by any chance have you seen any teeth?" asked The old man.

"TEETH?" asked Tauron.

"Yeah my teeth" said The old man while showing the inside of his mouth."Been looking for them all day cant seem to find them" The old man scratched his head.

"Ok old man I need to get to Alice's room, I went thought the tube and-"

"Alice's room? No problem I'll get you there in a jiffy, I know a short cut." said The old man winking

-BREAK-

"Tauron?" asked Alice, the little exorcist was in the living room but nothing was found. Alice snapped her fingers.

"A loofa" said Alice, she ran to the tube and was sucked up.

-BREAK-

"Welcome to Alice's room!" said the old man as he opened up the chair that hid the tube. It was the living room.

"Well I'm completely lost" said the old man.

-BREAK-

"Tauron?" asked Serena, she was in the kitchen and there was nothing found. Serena scowled.

"Damn Tauron, when I find you I'm gonna kill you" she whispered, she then went up the tube.

-BREAK-

The old man and Tauron then opened there head's out of the tube and found out they were in the toilet.

"uhhhh... I don't think this is Alice's room" said Tauron sweat dropping. The old man dropped his smile.

"I know" he said looking disappointed... again.

-BREAK-

"Tauron you in here?" asked Raven, she was in the attic, man was it dusty.

"Guess not... ah... Ah ...AHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" raven sneezed, she then went back up the tube.

-BREAK-

"Well what are we doing up here?" asked the old man, they were up on the roof.

"Looking for Alice's room" said Tauron in an annoyed sound.

"OH YEAH" the old man finally remembered and they both jumped on the trampoline and landed on the ground.

"Jeez you crazy or something old man?!" Tauron was still getting grass off of his shirt.

"Well of course I'm crazy everyone in this house is" said The old man smiling.

"Wait... There's more of you?!"

"Well sure, this is the Kawasaki house hold, we all like to live together." the old man explained, Tauron nodded in understanding. Alice's family was very close and always went on trips together and stuff, they also came to all the Black Order holidays.

"I see"

-BREAK-

"Tauron are ya in here?!" screamed Alice, inside was uncle lester and aunt Lilly.

"Heya Alice wanna help us?" asked uncle Lester, "we need someone to time us"

"Maybe next time uncle Lester but I need to find Tauron" said Alice going up the tube again.

"What did she say? something about tooth paste?" asked Aunt Lilly. Just then Taroun and grandpa came out of the tube.

"Heya Lester, by any chance do you know where Alice's room is?" asked the Old man.

"Alice has a room?" asked Lester

"Apparently so" said the old man.

"Well then Tauron can you time us as we have our race?" asked Lester, Tauron took the stop watch.

"Sure" he said grinning.

"Prepare yourself Lester my toy car is ready for you!" said aunt Lilly, just then a Honda came driving in the room.

"Thats a toy car?" asked Tauron, Then Lester came out with his cannon.

"Um... ready... set... go?" Tauron then clicked the stop watch , suddenly Lester cannoned himself and the car started to race, Lester landed on the pole where the finish line was, then the car passed.

"Uhh 5.47 seconds" said Tauron.

"I WIN!" said Lester, the the pole collapsed on top him.

-BREAK-

Raven and Serena surprisingly met up at the backyard and were looking around the house this time with out the tube knowing they might end up back in the pool.

"I think I still have water in my ears" said Raven who was still hitting her head trying to get water out.

"Here let me help you" said Serena. Serena then looked at her ear and then pulled out a fish and flung it back to the pool.

"OMG" Raven was indeed shocked, she knew no one who would have a fish in there pool.

-BREAK-

The old man and Tauron were once again back out in the yard, Tauron noticed that the dog was wearing glasses.

"Why is your dog wearing glasses?" asked Tauron, was he blind or something? the old man took a look at the dog and smiled.

"Oh, cause his insurance wont pay for contacts"

"TAURON THERE YOU ARE!" screamed Alice as she bagged him in the net.

"HELP I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!" screamed Tauron, Alice then proceeded to drag him back to her room. Alice took her walkie talkie.

"Hey guys I found him, It wasn't easy but I found him, where are you guys?" asked Alice

"Right behind you dumb-ass" said Serena, Alice took a good look at Serena and Raven. They were both drenched and looked like they met her cousin Loki's fish.

"Should I ask?" asked Alice.

"DON'T" they both said, Alice shrugged, but she did figure out one thing. The reason why no one comes back to her house is because her family is just a little to weird.

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And were done with this Chapter! whoo-hoo! man was I beat from school, those mid terms really make you work on your studying but hey, at least I updated. Note that I'm done with this new chapter I will now commence working on my second chapter on Days Of Our Lives. See that button that says review? push it... NOW!

CHEERIOS


	9. Sleep over part three

Sorry I was out for a while people I just don't know when to update, new stories and all and its kind of... well...out there per say. (looks into the distance. oh well here's the chapter.

Disclaimer- embren does not own D.Gray-Man end of story.

But I do own the characters that I created!

* * *

After the tube traveling from the great beyond we now find our beloved characters watching scary movies in Alice's room. They were all watching Resident Evil Two to be exact. Alice being curious as ever loved the movie, Raven had no expression at all until the man eating crows started attacking everyone, Serena was snickering at the zombies, Tauron... well lets just say he was scared for life and tried to destroy the flat screen television thirty-two times.

"Zombies... cool. Do they really exsist?" asked Alice pointing at the random zombie.

"no, but akuma are technically zombies" said Serena in a professional tone.

"THEY ARE NOT ZOMBIES THEY ARE THE UNDEAD!" said Raven pointing at Serena and Alice.

"**Undead?**" asked the two at the same time.

"Yes, they are the undead because Zombies are a childish way to not freak the little kids out, So they are the undead." explained Raven all in the time of seven seconds. Tauron was still twitching.

"Tauron? um... are you ok?" asked Alice, She was worried now. Maybe they shouldnt have gave Tauron those last three packs of sour patch kids.

"Zombies... THE HORROR THE PG-13 HORROR! SOMEONE CALL THE COAST GUARD SOMEONE-" Serena then knocked out Tauron with a spoon.

"How did you get a-"

"The land of OZ" said Serena walking away dragging Tauron to the closet.

"I'll help you." said Raven picking up Tauron so they could shove him in, Alice then looked at the two until she finally realized what closet that was.

"WAIT GUYS DON'T PUT TAURON IN THAT CLOSET!" screamed Alice running twoards the three.

"Aw come on Alice, whats the worse that could happen." said Serena as she opened the door, when she looked to see what was inside it... "Holy shit!" The next thing they knew thousands of tapes and DVD's fell on top of them like an avalanche.

"HELP I'M BEING BURRIED ALIVE!" screamed Serena.

"OW! I got a cut from the cover!... hey I didn't know you had Snakes On A Plane Alice, that's a classic!" said Raven now looking at the covers of the movie collection that Alice had.

"How is it a classic?" asked Serena.

"When the guy opens the bag and then screams "SNAKE!!" said Raven with her hand sticking out to look like a snake. Alice then pointed at Raven.

"Raven keep your hand up! I'm gonna get the motor boat to save you!" said Alice running to the hallway closet. once the foot steps faded away. Raven's hand turned to Serena's direction.

"What did she say? Wait here, I'll get the chain saw to kill you?" asked Raven. Serena's hand went up this time and put it to Raven's direction to.

"No, I think she said "Wait here, I'll get the shichcabob and a tally tubby to get you." said the Japanese exorcist.

"Oh I love that TV show"said Raven.

"Say what?"

"YOU HEARD NOTHING!"

"Guys stay still I'm coming to get you!" said Alice back from the trip to the Hall way closet in a motor boat.

"TALLY TUBIES!" screamed Raven and Serena.

"... say wha?" asked Alice.

"It's nothing... wait... since when do you have a motor boat?" asked Serena.

"since now" said Alice.

"SNAKE!" screamed Raven.

Alice- "..."

Serena- "..."

Author- "..."

"I was Bored." said Raven.

"Ok then, back to reality." said Alice.

"Like that's ever gonna happen baka Moyashi." said Serena

"STUPIDIOT!" screamed Alice.

"Can you please just save us already! Serena weighs enough as it is!" screamed Tauron who shot his hand out to join the crowd.

"Are you calling me fat?!" said Serena

"No I'm calling you over weight." said Tauron.

"Thats the same thing baka." Raven explained.

There was then a sickening crack.

"What the hell?! WHY DID YOU BREAK MY LEG?!" screamed Tauron now sinking further into the DVD's and Movies of no return.

"Cause you deserved it thats why. IM. NOT. FAT."

Alice then came through the DVD's with the motor boat and go the three out to safty. There was then a knock on the door. Alice, Tauron, Serena, and Raven all had the same expression.

OH SHIT

"Kids its time for dinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!" Sakura opened the door and then the DVD's came flying out of Alice's room, like a title wave of doom. it swept through the hallways and down the stairs, heck some of them went up the tubes.

"Its like a vacation in Hawaii!" said Tauron enjoying the ride.

"Only with more of the chance of getting killed." said Serena twitching at the moment.

"WHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" said Alice, "put'cha hands in the air like ya just don't care!" Raven lifted her hands in the air.

"Woot." was all she said (yeah nough said)

Jack just coming from the science department, opened the door to the house with his lab coat and everything. He was tierd and beat from work, he just had to sighn three thousand and sixty-two paper and then convince Sakura to stop building an atomic bomb made out of ice. It was just a long day. He was gonna come home, sit on the couch and watch I love Lucy.

"Hunny I'm hoOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!" Jack was then swept by the current of Movies.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Jack. This is NOT what he was wanting to come home to.

"Oh, Hi dear joined the party I see." said Sakura with a party hat.

"PARTY?" asked Jack.

"Yeah a party."

Jack looked around to find that the whole family was in the stack of movies, including Alice, Tauron, Serena and Raven, even Lefty was in here. They all had party hats and drinks, it was fruit punch. (GO COOLADE!)

BREAK

After the whole clean up of the movies and DVD's of doom we find the whole family at the table, lefty currently served the food which was spaghetti.

"Oooh yay Italian food." said Tauron.

"WHAT? I wanted a sloppy Joe!" Said Alice. Raven was picking at the meat balls.

"Whats wrong Raven? you don't like Italian?" asked Alice.

"Meat... there's meat in here." said Raven poking at her food.

"Oh wait are you a vegetarian Raven?" asked Serena.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WASN'T ENOUGH." said Raven.

"WTF?!" said Tauron.

"Alright everyone less talking and more eating." said Jack trying to sound fatherly like.

"Yeah if Louie Armstrong didn't eat he wouldn't have walked on the moon." said Grandfather Kawasaki.

"Dad Louie Armstrong was a singer." said Sakura.

"NO WAY!" said cousin Loki. "Now I have to redo my paper! THANKS ALOT GRANDDAD!" Loki then inserted his face to his plate of Spaghetti in frustration.

"Your welcome!" said the old man.

"lol, another moment to add to the family albums." said Uncle Lester recording dinner with his video camera which was stuck to his helmet.

"Can someone pass the tomato sauce?" asked Sakura who already drenched her spaghetti in it.

"Coming to ya big girl." said Aunt Lilly passing the sauce with her mini Honda.

"I need more cheese." said Alice.

"Heads up" said Loki as he cannoned the Cheese to Alice.

"DUCK!" screamed Alice as she found shelter under the table.

"Where?" asked Tauron, he was then hit with the cheese.

"Bulzie!" screamed Loki.

"That's my boy!" said Uncle Lester high fiving Loki. They were both interested in cannons go figure.

"BWAHAHAHAHA TAURON SAY CHEESE!" said Serena taking a picture of Tauron.

"Not funny." said the shadow exorcist.

"Snake!" screamed Raven at Alice who onced again used her hand to look like a snake.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!" Alice then fell off her seat and landed back in her bomb shelter, which was the floor.

"Now that was funny." said Tauron smiling, ahhhh the joy of revenge.

"STOP DOING THAT RAVEN!" said Alice as she got up.

"You mean this? SNAKE!" screamed Raven once again with her hand in front of her.

"AAAAAHHHH!!" Alice then fell down again.

"I love doing that to people." said Raven sipping her tea.

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Well there you have it people another chapter, and I promise that I will update sooner now. thank you for your patience everyone! now you see that button that says review? PUSH IT NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU!


	10. THE CHAPTER THAT EXPLODED :D

Hey everyone back here with another chappy, (woot) I know, I've been gone for a century and all bla bla bla but at least I remembered to update so in your face!

Disclaimer- embrenn does not own D.Gray-Man if she did who knows what might happen (Apocalypse!)

remember to review and tell me what i should do for the next chapter cause quite frankly I'm bored as hell here.

* * *

It was Monday at the American Black Order, and you know how it goes, PEOPLE HATE MONDAYS! It was a true saying cause it meant everyone had to return to work for another five or six days of work until you get your day off. Alice woke up as usual with her alarm clock ringing, once again she threw it out the window. IT WAS THE SEVEN-HUNDRED AND SIXTY FOURTH CLOCK THAT SHE HAS THROWN OUT THAT VERY WINDOW. Alice got up went into her closet and got another alarm clock ready along with her exorcist uniform. Today was gonna be a lonnnng day thought the petite Exorcist.

Alice made her way down to the first floor of the empire state building. she was a little annoyed at the fact that this one man had a backpack and was ramming it in her face with out noticing.

"no comment." whispered Alice to herself.

Finally Alice made it to the first floor and met up with Sal. The old man was doing his job as usual with a smile on his face, that old man loved being the postman.

"Why good morning to you Miss. Alice, right on time I see, how are you on this fine morning?" asked Sal, he was always a gentleman.

"A little tired... but I'm fine." said Alice with a yawn. Sal had a puzzling look.

"A lady needs her rest, you shouldn't stay up so late all the time." Sal patted Alice's head, Alice nodded who was now half asleep.

"I need the mail Sal, is there any for us today?" asked Alice. Sal went to the mail boxes and found the department number for The Black Order, got the sack full of mail and gave it to Alice.

"There you go." said Sal. Alice smiled and waved goodbye as she returned to the elevator.

Once she made it to the Black order, Alice dragged the sack full of letters and gave them to the finder who would then sort the letters and give them to the right people. The petite exorcist made her way to the science division, when she opened the door she saw that Tauron and Serena were already there. Alice waved at them.

"Morning, what did I miss?" asked Alice, Tauron and Serena didn't turn around...

"Guys?" Alice grabbed Serena and Tauron but she went right through them!

"!!" Alice tried again... same thing.

"what the?"

"HAHA FOOLED YA!" said Tauron and Serena coming from nowhere, Alice was shocked.

"Wait... if your Tauron and Serena" said Alice pointing to two exorcist's "... then who's that??" The other Tauron and Serena turned around with a sickening smile and disappeared.

"GHOST!" screamed Alice.

"Not even close Moyashi, they're Tauron's shadows." explained Serena, Alice still had a shocked face.

"Pretty cool right? I found out its another ability I can use with my shadows. They can turn into anyone I please." said Tauron looking proud of himself. Alice STILL had a shocked expression.

"Um... Alice?" Tauron waved his hand in front of Alice who was still in shock and had then fallen over.

"AHH! I KILLED ALICE!! CALL THE NAVY, CALL THE ARMY, CALL MY MOM!!" screamed Tauron freaking out. Serena hit Tauron on the head very hard.

"Idiot, she just passed out." Serena took a random cup of coffee from one of the scientist's and poured it all over Alice.

"AHHH ITS HOT!!" screamed Alice as she woke up. Alice blinked looked around only to figure out she was in the science lab and then saw Serena with a decent worried expression and Tauron who looked to be crying for joy.

"Hey Tauron, Hey Serena. What did I miss? why am I in the science lab?" Alice sniffed a sense, realizing it was her she sniffed herself. "and WHY do I smell like hazel nut coffee?" concluded the petite exorcist.

"YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW." concluded Serena and Tauron. Alice tilted her head to the side. Alice got up and attempted to brush off some droplets of coffee but failed miserably.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!" screamed head officer Sakura, she was dressed in her usual lab coat with **COFFEE**, which is not good for a well know fact that **COFFEE**, SODA, HOT CHOCOLATE WILL MAKE SAKURA REALLY HYPER. And by hyper we mean "Holy crap who's that idiot of top of the building with a hang glider?!" kind of hyper. To put it in simpler terms-

Sakura+coffee D-Day

End of story and life as we know it.

"Mom, don't you think you shouldn't be drinking **THAT**." said Alice as she pointed to the cup of doom, Sakura blinked and then looked at said cup for around three seconds.

"Oh this? Its no mine, Its for you father,he did an all nighter so I made him something to wake him up." explained the warped mad scientist. "He's somewhere in the lab buried in those sea of papers!" pointed Sakura.

The three Exorcists turned around to find what was indeed a sea of papers, how they had missed that they have no idea. Just as they were about to ask why there was so many papers a load snore was heard.

"FOUND HIM!" said Sakura as she skipped over to the papers without spilling the hot coffee.

"Oi, is you mom **ALWAYS **like this in the morning?" asked Tauron yawning.

"Nah. Sometimes she thinks she's the president of the United States, she should try out. She'd most likely win." said Alice

"...That was a joke right?"

"DON'T WORRY JACK I'LL FISH YOU OUT OF THOSE PAPERS!!" screamed Sakura as she was attempting to fish out her husband by digging her way through the papers... WITH A SPATULA... The exorcists had no comment to the outburst... OR THE RANDOM KITCHEN UTENSIL.

**BREAK**

"I'm going out." said Alice with her normal clothes, she was wearing her lace gloves with a goth Lolita outfit. Alice looked so innocent wearing those clothes.

"We'll come with you!" said Taruon with his goofy grin, Alice shook her head.

"No."

"huh?"

"I said No Tauron. I'm gonna walk by myself for the day." elaborated the small teen.

"WHAT?! YOU CANT GO WANDERING IN THE CITY DRESSED IN SUCH A CUTE OUTFIT, THERE ARE PERVERTS OUT THERE! AND HOBOS!!" screamed Tauron.

"I fight Akuma and train on a daily basis, I think I can handle myself." Huffed Alice.

Tauron- 0 Alice-1

**BREAK**

Alice was walking through the city of New York with a blank expression, EVERYTHING IS BORING ON A MONDAY.

"Maybe I should get something to lift my spirits." Alice said to herself, She then spotted an ice cream truck and got a Popsicle. It just so happened that a whole group of Tourists walked by and were amazed at how cute Alice looked. THUS THE PICTURES BEGAN.

Alice Twitched.

The people still took pictures of her.

Alice twitched more and almost dropped her beloved Popsicle to the dirty streets.

AND THE PEOPLE CONTINUED TO TAKE MORE PICTURES.

Alice finished the Popsicle in the span of 12 seconds without getting a brain freeze. (its my actual record lol)

THEN SHE RAN.

**BREAK**

Tauron was in his emo corner as Serena was taking a book out. When ever Serena had nothing to do she went to the only place she loves. THE LIBRARY. Serena was no geek. NO, she just loved the fact that it was QUIET. No Tauron screaming in her ear, no Raven playing loud video games in her room, no sounds of explosions or things breaking. NOPE NOTHING TO DISTURB HER.

Serena was a happy neko. (neko means cat in Japanese)

There was only one thing though that would disturb Serena's tranquility, TAURON WITH HIS EMO AURA OF** DOOM**!

"Oi can you go and be emo somewhere else Tauron? I'm trying to relax here." said Serena in an annoyed soft tone.

"I CANT" said Tauron in a blunt tone.

"And why's that?" Serena's vein was popping out from anger now.

"I CAN ONLY BE EMO WITH A DEPRESSING PERSON." said the shadow exorcist, Tauron's shadow was mimicking him by pretending to cry.

"I'M DEPRESSING HUH?" The angered raven haired girl began to crack her knuckles.

"WAIT!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THA-"

**BREAK**

"DO YOU PEOPLE **EVER **QUIT?!" screamed Alice as she was continuing to run from the tourists. Alice was in the subway on forty-second street. She had no option left but to use her innocence in this kind of emergency. (who wouldn't?)

Alice having the dark gloves decided to use one of her most spectacle illusions. Alice's gloves become black water in her hands swirling and then transformed into an elegant black lase embroided top hat.

"fifth illusion, ABRA CADABRA!" said Alice, as she flipped the hat onto her head. As if it was a vacume the top hat sucked Alice into the hat along itself for a ride.

The tourists lets just say were awed by the MAGIC TRICK. (wink wink, hint, hint, nudge, nudge, punch, punch lol)

**BREAK**

Raven sighed as she went to the cafeteria. She was trying to find Alice and give her back the video game she borrowed, but that petite idiot was nowhere to be found. Having said she went to the cafeteria to get something to eat and hopefully see Alice.

FATE WAS CRUEL

"DAMMIT YOU IDIOT STOP SULKING AND EAT!!" screamed Serena as she threw a fish tacco at Tauron.

"I'LL EAT WHAT I WANT WOMEN!" screamed Tauron throwing a burrito at her.

Abandon ship. Abandon all hope.

**BREAK**

"Uh..."

Alice was going through the dimension cap between time and space itself. She was having trouble finding the Order. So far she had opened at least 24 doors but no such luck. One of them led to China... she dosent know why though.

"AW MAN IF I KEEP THIS UP I'M **NEVER** GONNA GET HOME!!" screamed Alice as she opened yet another door, it was pitch black.

"Ooh I wonder where this one goes!" said Alice, curiosity getting the better of her.

...

...

...

BAM, CRASH, BOOM, BANG, KONK!!

"**BACK, BACK CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, BACK I SAY!!**" screamed the Petite exorcist as she was fighting what seemed to be the Kraken.

BREAK

"Did you hear something?" asked Raven as she looked around. Tauron was attempting to snort sugar.

"Hear what? cause if your talking about the explosions its just Sakura and her... interesting inventions." explained Serena as she was attempting to shoot a spoon full of mashed potatoes in a finders hair. Raven shook her head in disagreement.

"No, I meant that voice. It went like... **CREATURE**... **LAGOON**... and something about **oreos**..." said Raven.

"Did someone say OREOS??" said Tauron now in the conversation. "Cause if were talking Oreos then I WANT SOME. THEY ARE THE FOOD GIFTED BY THE GODS!"

"More like the food gifted from Satan. How can you guys stand eating all that **JUNK **everyday?!" said Serena as she stuck her tongue out in disgust.

"Cause were normal American teenagers. How can **YOU **stand eating all that spicy ramen **EVERYDAY**? Don't you get tired of it?" said Tauron in a snappish way. Serena glared.

"AT LEAST THE FOOD I EAT IS HEALTHY, YA PIG." snapped Serena.

"HEALTH NUT"

"BAKA USAGAI"

"GOTH!"

"SKATER!"

Raven turned to the computer where all the viewers were reading this.

"Don't you just love it when thy fight over the stupidist things?" said Raven smiling while drinking her tea.

"**QUIET!!**" screamed both.

* * *

What will happen to Alice when she realizes that she was supposed to go to door number 1? will Tauron and Serena get along anytime soon? will Raven finally be able to return her video game to Alice?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO THE AMERICAN BLACK ORDER.

Ya know the drill, read and REVIEW!! (roar!) if you don't I HAVE A N00BINATOR FRYING PAN AND IT WILL EAT YOU!!


	11. school is for losers

Embren: hiya everybody! and welcome to another crack filled chapter of the American Black Order! now i noe half... ok all of you want to kill me for not uploading another chapter but i have my reasons goodbye, the end. Anywhoo, lets get started!

(insert random explosion)

* * *

Like every kid in NYC, all children must report to school, lean, and then proceed to try to fool the teachers that they even listen to them! Learning is key to life, and just because Alice Tauron and Serena were exorcists doesn't mean that they don't deserve an education! so no exceptions!

"GOD DAMMIT WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE DRAGED IN THIS HELL HOLE!" screamed Serena as she woke up in the morning. It was now 7:00 a.m, somebody was gonna die.

Alice, living right below Serena heard her voice, one thing was good about her screaming was that she sure made an excellent alarm clock. Alice yawned, got out of bed and proceeded to style her hair, put on her make-up and then change into her uniform. She sure was tired, after getting out of her ABRA CADABRA trick she came to discover that Serena and Tauron were just about to kill each other.

Serena, Alice and Tauron luckily go to a japanese school, which in terms means they are required to wear a uniform, and learn just as all japanese students. It wasn't horrible, unlike most schools Japanese uniforms totally kick ass.

Alice being a quick little devil got out of her room first, with her bag on her arm she ran to the cafeteria quickly to get from the chefs, three toasts with a sunny side egg on top of each and three orange juices. On the other hand she three bentos. One in sky blue with a bear for Alice, another in black with a white rabbit for Serena, and finally a plain red bento for Tauron. Alice waited outside in the streets waiting for the right moment...

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1" counted Alice.

At the exact moment, Serena and Tauron bursted out the door, Alice ran with them in lightning speed.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit why doesn't anyone wake me up anymore?" screamed Tauron, Alice gave him his bento, and his breakfast. "Th-Thank you Alice, your such a nice person!" tears were rolling down his face.

Its simple logic, Tauron - food = A very hungry and depressed moron.

But if you re-write the equation Tauron + food = a very hyper active Moron who tends to smile to much.

"Because your an idiot thats why, we aren't your nannies, use a freaking alarm clock!" yelled back Serena, her long black hair was put into a high pony tail, she carried her kendo sword with her along with her bag. Alice threw her her food. "Thanks beansprout."She chomped on her egg with toast.

"STUPIDIOT!" yapped Alice. She sighed, she felt this was gonna be a VERY long day.

BREAK

Having finally making it to class the three just made it on time, by a freaking single second too! Other students were looking at the three with happy eyes, glad to see that they made it. All three went to their separate groups. Serena went to the yankees, they were all glad to see that Serena was still in tip top shape, they all began to talk about new training. Tauron was with a mixture of boys and girls, he showed them pictures of what happened during his summer. Of course he didn't dare show the pctures of Serena, he would be killed in a matter of seconds! Alice on the other hand was surrounded by females only. They were from the same club, the cute club! Terrible name yes, but the club teaches cooking, sewing, and discusses shoujo manga.

"Uwaaaa, Alice-chan got cuter ne?" said one delinquent, Serena was irked by this.

"Nani? Alice is cute and all but she really isn't my type, you have strange tastes." said another yankee. Serena began to twitch.

"Well I think your all bakas, Alice-chan is beautiful, she makes a good wife if you ask me!" Serena fell off her chair.

"Eh? Serena-sama! Are you ok?"

Serena, had a creepy look on her face, like those horror movies you find in comedies. "Am I ok? let me tell you something... KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM MY ALICE, SHES PURE DAMMIT!" screamed Serena.

Alice twitched at the sight. "My Alice?"

Tauron laughed his ass off "HAHAHAHA, YOU SOND LIKE A POSSESSIVE GUY OVER HIS GIRLFRIEND!"

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME YOU IDIOT?" screamed Serena! as took out her sword.

Raven sighed, they just wont quit will they? If you all must know, Raven gets to school early, she is class rep so she needs to help with the teachers.

BREAK

To keep this all PG, you'll have to imagine the horror of Serena killing Tauron, Raven trying to drink more tea, and Alice trying to stop said fight. thank you.

BREAK

It was now time for lunch! and you all know what that means! more destruction, and Akuma, and a goldfish pinyata filled with CANDY! AND EVERYBODY LOVES CANDY! just kidding, instead it was quite normal... in the beginning that is.

" And then he said "no way man you can have her, she smelled of fish anyway!"" said Tauron as he chomped in his rice ball, Serena laughed at the comment.

"You and your stories, do you have a story on every person of this school?" asked Raven, Tauron shrugged.

"You know I have absolutly no idea, but unlike you Raven I actually choose to have a life and be around people while you help grade papers with the teachers." dead panned Tauron. Raven decided to punish him by stuffing wasabi in his mouth.

"You know...speaking of Stories, I heard that the third floor of the school is haunted." said Alice as she ate some udon.

"Oh no, not another haunted story, like we dont have enough in this school" said Serena as she head planted her face to the table.

"I like where this is going, tell us why its haunted!" urged Tauron.

"They said during the second world war a girl gave her love letter to the boy she liked, but before he could respond to it, he got drafted and was killed in action. Everyday the girl waited for her beloved on the third floor and died of a broken heart. They say she haunts the halls to find the boy she loved so much." Explained Alice.

"Thats... THATS SO SAD" Tauron began crying again. "The poor ghost lady! We should help this poor spirit!"

"Oh please, its probably nothing. Most likely its just another made up story... although there are somethings wrong with our school..." said Serena.

" Like the eery laughter down the hall every friday before lunch." inquired Raven.

"Or the fact that Hanabi- sensei's skeleton is really made out of bones." added Serena in mild discomfort.

"Don't forget the mystery of the screeching chalk board in Kazehaya-Sensei's room after study period..." shivered Tauron

"OR THE MYSTERY MEAT THEY SERVE IN THE CURRY EVERY TUESDAY!" yelled Alice in horror. Everyone at the table and the whole cafeteria cringed at that.

If you all must know this supposed mystery meat in the curry Alice speaks of... well... it has something of a dark past. It made over 162 students report a horrible stomach ache in the span of only 3 years when it was first made. It also made 35 of those said students, one of them Tauron, bed ridden for over 2 weeks with having the horror of throwing up everyday in that said amount of time. ITS NOT PRETTY.

"Ok thats it, were going to check this out before our school becomes a haunted house." announced Serena.

Tauron decided to agree to this statement by fainting from the sudden relapse of his encounter of "The Curry" His fainting caused him to land on his milk carton, which sprayed all over Raven, causing her go blind and jab her fork into Serena's hand. Screaming in pain she flipped her hand outward thus smacking Alice across the face... by which she was K.O'ed and fell to the ground in a stunning display of her skirt being flipped in the process due to gravity and its wonderful ways.

Serena flipped out with a bleeding hand and tried to cover Alice.

Raven was drenched by milk and her tea was ruined.

Tauron was still passed out on his milk carton, He was also drooling on the table

* * *

And you all thought I lost my touch at being random, WELL UR WRONG!

PLZ REVIEW... OR DIE A PAINFUL DEATH!

^.^ THANK U


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